Radiation-proof underwear

Author: Joe Martin
Published: 21st May 2007
Comments (15) Stumble
The radiation-proof briefs will help protect your sperm count, though you could just turn your phone off.

The radiation-proof briefs will help protect your sperm count, though you could just turn your phone off.

The press is all over the growing fears about WiFi and mobile phone radiation, with newspapers and cheap ITV mini-series' hyping it all up beyond reason. Still, if you're one of the cautious, wealthy few who still loves to look good beneath your clothes then salvation may be at hand.

Developed by Swiss designers, the Slipways underwear range is made with threads of silver to help fend off harmful radiation from devices such as mobile phones.

The Slipways briefs are said to be so effective that any phone calls made in the confines of the underwear will completely fail to connect, though why anybody would try to make a phone call from within a pair of Swiss briefs is beyond us.

Apparently 4000 pairs have been hammered out thus far, each of which will sell for around $24 USD (around £15), though there's little detail on when paranoid tin-foil hat wearing fools can expect their metallic underwear to thud onto the market on an International level.

One thing we at bit-tech feel we do have to point out about the silver-laced underwear is how silly the name Slipways is for an underwear label. What's next, Skidmarks Boxers?

Worried about radiation, or simply can't wait for Fallout to hit? As always, let us know in the forums.
Quote sinizterguy 21st May 2007, 10:44
Nice. Capitalise on the paranoid.
Quote DougEdey 21st May 2007, 10:52
"Tighty Whiteys that protect your goolies."

Tagline for the win.
Quote kenco_uk 21st May 2007, 11:11
I prefer my tin foil boxers, thanks.
Quote specofdust 21st May 2007, 11:13
Quote:
Originally Posted by sinizterguy
Nice. Capitalise on the paranoid.

Makes sense, they're willing to pay and too stupid not to.
Quote Omnituens 21st May 2007, 12:40
i would have thought that ther would have be better, and cheaper, materials to use than Silver.
Quote yodasarmpit 21st May 2007, 12:44
Just don't wear them going on holiday.

"Please step aside sir, the metal detector says you are concealing something in your underpants, or are you just happy to see me"
Quote konsta 21st May 2007, 12:45
Whilst wifi is a moot point, there is fairly clear evidence that mobile phones in a trouser pocket affect sperm count - at least in the short term. In respect of that, I'd certainly consider something like these - assuming that they were easy to wash and the silver remained woven rather than unravelling...

I wonder if they make boxers?
Quote yodasarmpit 21st May 2007, 12:49
Quote:
Originally Posted by konsta
there is fairly clear evidence that mobile phones in a trouser pocket affect sperm count - at least in the short term.
It's obviously not as effective as it should be, the number of under-age chavs popping out brats is on the increase :)
Quote Perforated 21st May 2007, 13:10
Omnituens - silver's only around 25p per gram when last I looked, I don't think costin a pairof boxers would be too high. By this point most of the cost would be on drawing it into thread & using it.

I can see chavs buying these for shoplifting :p well, when I say "buying"... Hey, would the insulation potentially foil their own security tags? (pun fully intended)
Quote completemadness 21st May 2007, 13:14
Quote:
Originally Posted by yodasarmpit
It's obviously not as effective as it should be, the number of under-age chavs popping out brats is on the increase :)
qft :p :p

at one point there was discussion that tin foil hats amplify mobile phone transmissions (i recall) so - do these do the same ?
Perhaps a capacitance effect might build up in the silver discharging into - well you know ;)
Quote Javerh 21st May 2007, 17:33
Quote:
Originally Posted by completemadness
at one point there was discussion that tin foil hats amplify mobile phone transmissions (i recall) so - do these do the same ?
Yeah, for specific frequencies they act as parabolic antennas collecting all the waves into their hotspot that might happen to be the exact spot your trying to protect. If you'd really want to keep em shielded, you'd have to be completely inside a conductive container ála Faraday's cage.
Quote Dr. Strangelove 21st May 2007, 17:53
Hmm considering I work with radiation (mainly beta-radiation) on a weekly basis, I was hoping they would be able to protect me ;) but alas I guess i will just have to stop spilling all over the place :(

Anyway lead undies might be a bit on the heavy side :D
Quote DXR_13KE 21st May 2007, 21:52
i use lead underpants with lead pants and a lead diaper to protect my nutz........ NOT.

i simply don't put my phone in my trousers, i put it in my bag.
Quote The_Beast 22nd May 2007, 00:33
Quote:
Originally Posted by konsta
I wonder if they make boxers?

they do, I saw them on a show going for $60
Quote Spaceraver 22nd May 2007, 23:06
This is making me LMAO, at the moment i cant come up with something witty. But i'll bet a bear that someone will and this thread evolving out of proportions. anyways i hope it does :D
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