The bit-tech Cheesecake Supertest

Sainsbury's Basics, Morrison's Raspberry

H: The next one is the Sainsbury’s basics vanilla cheesecake. It says on the box that it has “A bit more biscuit, but still a good dessert.” One sixth of a cheesecake gives a whopping 17.3g of fat.

R: Oww…my liver...

T: Geoff would love that.

H: Look at that – the biscuit base has instantly crumbled into dust. It’s so dry.

R: That’s pretty awful.

J: It just looks like a gone off cheese.

T: Looks like just a lump of soft cheese on a digestive biscuit. No wait, it is!

R: Oh, that’s so nasty. It’s wrong.

H: The cheesecake-y bit isn’t so bad but…Bindi, are you gagging?

R: Ugh. That’s so horrible. It’s like fat rolling around my tongue.

H: Um, yeah. Yeah, that’s going in the bin.


R: I’m binning mine too. It’s just manky crushed up biscuit.

Jamie: I’m having some crisps.

T: Epic fail.

H: That is not worth £1.88. It’s disappointing. Right, next one.

Joe: Ah, this next one is my favourite to win.

Harry: Yeah, you think this is the winner. A Morrisons' vanilla cheesecake with raspberry sauce on a biscuit base.

J: Yeah, spread out like a raspberry ripple. It looks good.

R: £2.99, 16g of fat per sixth.

T: Yuck! Eugh, I just had some of the last one come back on me. Ew!

R: There’s a lot of biscuit base here, but it’s really nice. Half inch thick.


J: Fork ready, I’m going for maximum raspberry.

T: I wanted that bit!

H: It’s really creamy and nice, but the raspberry mixes it up a bit. Mmm.

Jamie burps.

R: Jamie, you haven’t even had any!

Hiren, Arti and Hugh enter.

Hiren: Oh, cheesecake?

Hugh: Hi guys, how are you? This is Arti from Dennis Publishing. I think this is the first time you’ve been to these offices, isn’t it?

R: We’re hard at work, honest.

J: We’ve put on 50g of fat or something, each.