Uwe Boll: Spielberg is out to get me!

Uwe Boll isn't dumb - he knows Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay are out to get him via an online petition!

Uwe Boll is a clever man and even when he foolhardily says that it'd take a million signatures on an online "Shut Up Uwe Boll" petition, he knows that it's best to keep an eye on who's signing up in case there's any cheating going on.

In response to the on-going flood of signatures hitting the petition, Uwe Boll has developed maybe a touch of paranoia though, believing that directors Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay are so threatened by him that they've conspired to sign the petition multiple times.

"I tracked down who's signing that petition, and there are like a few people, getting under different identities and things in the internet and signing it over and over again," said Uwe Boll in an interview with MovieSet.com.

"The second thing is that I was able to find that actually Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg under various different identities posting ongoing that I should stop making movies, and I know why: They are afraid of the competition. What jealous internet nerds and wannabe filmmakers are signing that petition?"

I honestly don't know Uwe - what internet nerds could be signing that petition? All of them maybe? Let us know if you've signed your name down with the likes of Spielberg and Michael Bay in the forums.
Quote Woodstock 17th April 2008, 11:24
you cant blame speilberg for realizing there is a fool out there making crap movies

edit: only 203396 was expecting a lot more then that
Quote steveo_mcg 17th April 2008, 11:29
:(
Quote KayinBlack 17th April 2008, 11:36
Or maybe you ****ing suck, you turn everything you touch into a ****-*****ing suckfest, and you're ****ing arrogant enough to tell us that we suck cause we won't capitulate to your massive suck. Go **** a ****ing light socket and remove yourself, cause you fail at life.

Yes, I ****ing hate ****ing Uwe ****ing Boll. *****-*** mother-****ing waste of a human-shaped **** sack.

Mods, if my self-censored rant offends, do remove. I hate him bunches, but not enough to take a vacation from Bit.
Quote DXR_13KE 17th April 2008, 11:38
his films + friends + lots of beer = win!
Quote Nexxo 17th April 2008, 11:43
Quote:
Originally Posted by KayinBlack
Or maybe you ****ing suck, you turn everything you touch into a ****-*****ing suckfest, and you're ****ing arrogant enough to tell us that we suck cause we won't capitulate to your massive suck. Go **** a ****ing light socket and remove yourself, cause you fail at life.

Yes, I ****ing hate ****ing Uwe ****ing Boll. *****-*** mother-****ing waste of a human-shaped **** sack.

Feel a bit strongly about this, then? :)

You have to admire the pure unadulterated narcissism in Uwe Boll's delusional thinking though. As if he really was that good that the likes of Stephen Spielberg and Michael Bay would even consider him as possible competition. :)
Quote KayinBlack 17th April 2008, 11:46
He's got a pair of solid steel ones, I'll say that.

I didn't hate him so much until he said he was genius, and we were all delusional. I think I know fantasy from reality, and my IQ is more than high enough to recognize genius when I see it. It's the arrogance itself that pisses me off, though. He'd be easier to deal with if he didn't think he was the last bastion of creativity in the universe.
Quote Nexxo 17th April 2008, 11:48
Quote:
Originally Posted by DXR_13KE
his films + friends + lots of beer = win!

Nothing has the "It's so bad it's good" charm as Ed Wood's "Plan Nine from Outer Space". Classic. ;)
Quote KayinBlack 17th April 2008, 11:55
Least Ed Wood knew what he was making. Those are kinda fun.
Quote steveo_mcg 17th April 2008, 12:29
Just had a skim through the wikipedia entry for worst movie's ever, its really funny and this nut has two of them.
Quote Multiplectic 17th April 2008, 12:43
Quote:
Originally Posted by DXR_13KE
his films + friends + lots of beer = win!

I'd rather laugh with a movie that was made for it, instead of laughing at a movie that is so awful you have no other choice but lo laugh. It's either that or suicide.

I think Uwe Boll should be dropped out of a space shuttle when it's entering the atmosphere.
Quote DXR_13KE 17th April 2008, 13:12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Multiplectic
I think Uwe Boll should be dropped out of a space shuttle when it's entering the atmosphere.

and have him raining on us? why not shove him off the shuttle when its high up in orbit in such a way that his corpse will eventually make its way to the sun?
Quote Herbicide 17th April 2008, 13:41
Nice rant, KB.

*****-[ass?] is the only one I haven't fully parsed yet.


The petition is up to 203584 at the time of writing.
Quote scarrmrcc 17th April 2008, 13:49
he does not deserve to be hurt, in anay way.

he is not evil, just REALLY bad at making movies, and delusional.

let him live in his own world, AND STOP BUYING THEM. he will not make any money, and be forced to quit.
Quote naokaji 17th April 2008, 14:01
Wait a minute... so Spielberg and Bay stole thousands of identities just to sign the stop uwe boll petition because they are scared of him?
If he allready wants to come up with some conspiracy theory, he should hire someone to come up with one, cause this one is spot on with the quality of his movies.
Someone should just take that kids tinfoil house (no, hat doesnt suffice in that case) away.
Quote iggy2k 17th April 2008, 14:04
he clearly IS evil. anything that inflicts that kind of dross upon the world must be some kind of devilspawn.
Quote Faulk_Wulf 17th April 2008, 14:28
Maker of horrid movies? Yes.
Ruining the touchy Videogame-to-Movie genre? Yes.
The infernal spawn of Satan? Maybe.
Deserves death. No.

Though I get most of this is tounge-in-cheek and th point is more 'just stop making films!'.

(Yes, you could stop buying the movies but at the same time the fact that he's trying and failing is using up movie rights for good quality directors.)

[Wait............. I just realized-- WHO THE HELL KEEPS SELLING HIM THE RIGHTS TO THEIR GAMES?! How bloody stupid!]
Quote Squadexodus 17th April 2008, 14:36
Anyone seen this one?

203625. DR.Uwe Boll My life is movies,I live for movies, movies is my life and I'll continue to make movies as long as I live. in fact we are now currently filming WORLD OF WARCRAFT with PAMELA ANDERSON! heck! I'll even make a movie about my life and you bet I'll win an oscar for that!
Quote Jordan Wise 17th April 2008, 14:51
please, PLEASE keep giveing this guy as much attention as you can, because the numbers keep increasing everytime he opens his mouth
Quote mmorgue 17th April 2008, 15:15
I think he's a tremendously brilliant director. I can only hope for the Uwe Boll movie adaptation of Tetris....

<sigh>
Quote Scirocco 17th April 2008, 15:19
Well, if Spielberg is after this guy, I certainly hope he's a good aim. ;P
Quote Yemerich 17th April 2008, 15:21
nah...

Ithink this is soo funny that i'll sign again and again just to see the guy saying such funny things like this last one!

Hilarious!
Quote 1ad7 17th April 2008, 15:46
Uwe Boll and Michael Moore are making a new movie- Semi retarded filmmaker school for people who want to make films and get really whinny.
Quote pendragon 17th April 2008, 17:44
"jealous internet nerds"?!?! jealous of what!? his crappy films? yea right ... I signed this petition and I'd do it again. Good riddance, Mr Boll
Quote VictorianBloke 17th April 2008, 17:47
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmorgue
I think he's a tremendously brilliant director. I can only hope for the Uwe Boll movie adaptation of Tetris....

<sigh>

It would clearly have more plot than the rest put together... although i've only seen Bloodrayne and the first ten min of Alone in the Dark. that was enough.
Quote HourBeforeDawn 17th April 2008, 18:18
lol the guy is in such denial he doesnt realize what shitty work he does, so sad...
Quote johnnyboy700 17th April 2008, 19:01
This guy is simply unbelievable, I think his paranoia is so far out of control its heading for orbit.

Maybe I'll try registering under thousands of different names and bump up the figures as well! I'm sure that if people as busy as Spielberg and Bay can find the time to set up multiple e-mail accounts and bombard the petition sites then so can I.

Actually, on reflection this might actually have been funny if it wasn't for the fact that I reckon Boll is deadly serious here, he really believes that SS & MB would actually waste their time on something like this. Oh man, which bloody planet is this clown from - where ever it is can we please send him back there!!
Quote Woodstock 17th April 2008, 20:27
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnnyboy700
This guy is simply unbelievable, I think his paranoia is so far out of control its heading for orbit.

Maybe I'll try registering under thousands of different names and bump up the figures as well! I'm sure that if people as busy as Spielberg and Bay can find the time to set up multiple e-mail accounts and bombard the petition sites then so can I.

Actually, on reflection this might actually have been funny if it wasn't for the fact that I reckon Boll is deadly serious here, he really believes that SS & MB would actually waste their time on something like this. Oh man, which bloody planet is this clown from - where ever it is can we please send him back there!!

how about P3W-451
Quote Eloquence 17th April 2008, 21:09
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmorgue
...I can only hope for the Uwe Boll movie adaptation of Tetris....

Looks like Jerry Bruckheimer beat him to it: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/01/24/
Quote Woodstock 18th April 2008, 00:49
204941, surely the united force of sane people on the web can do better then this
Quote Breach 18th April 2008, 01:45
My head is still swirling around his "Postal will eat Indiana Jones" blasphemy. Uwe's delusions are almost outweighed by his suckage as a director/writer. This guys is even an embarrassment to other card carrying Hollywood hacks...
Quote Multiplectic 18th April 2008, 01:55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Breach
My head is still swirling around his "Postal will eat Indiana Jones" blasphemy.

I didn't know about that. Jeez... The guy is seriously delusional.
So, OK, don't kill him, but please, oh please, lock him up for life in some asylum in the north pole. Alone.
Quote completemadness 18th April 2008, 02:15
he seems scared to me

Even if spielberg signed it 100 times, that's still a fraction of the 1m votes needed - get over yourself uwe
Quote Spaceraver 18th April 2008, 06:58
http://www.multiplexcomic.com/archive.php?name=74 i think this sums it up...
Quote Bungle 18th April 2008, 10:42
Not quite sure where all this hatred comes from. I saw Dungeon Siege the other day and ok it's not gonna win any awards but it's not a bad movie. There are plenty of worse films out there. I think you guys are blowing this all out of proportion.
Quote MiNiMaL_FuSS 18th April 2008, 11:39
up 2,000 since first post, now '205673' so it's rising steadily.
Quote alextwo 18th April 2008, 12:47
WWqCNmfJ1hY

Quote Squadexodus 18th April 2008, 13:07
IMDB says he got far cry too. When will the madness end...
Quote [USRF]Obiwan 18th April 2008, 14:59
I have a dream...

I have a dream that in the not so near future all the movie theaters are empty. Thats right. They all are empty. No living sole is sitting in the seat. I have a dream that all of the theaters are empty, not because there are no people, not because the prices are high tas the angels in the sky, not because there are no movies to be shown, not because there are no scripts anymore.

I need to tell you why the theaters are empty, I feel the urge to tell you why the theaters are empty, I feel the shiver in my bones why the theaters are going to be empty. You know why the theaters are empty, We all know why the theaters are empty. I had the bright lighted signal from above. You know what the signal said to me, how it whispered in my ear, how it feed my brain to let all of you people spread the word that no living sole should watch a movie from Uwe Boll anymore.

Amen....
Quote steveo_mcg 18th April 2008, 15:02
Quote:
Originally Posted by [USRF]Obiwan
I have a dream...

I have a dream that in the not so near future all the movie theaters are empty. Thats right. They all are empty. No living sole is sitting in the seat. I have a dream that all of the theaters are empty, not because there are no people, not because the prices are high tas the angels in the sky, not because there are no movies to be shown, not because there are no scripts anymore.

I need to tell you why the theaters are empty, I feel the urge to tell you why the theaters are empty, I feel the shiver in my bones why the theaters are going to be empty. You know why the theaters are empty, We all know why the theaters are empty. I had the bright lighted signal from above. You know what the signal said to me, how it whispered in my ear, how it feed my brain to let all of you people spread the word that no living sole should watch a movie from Uwe Boll anymore.

Amen....

Amen, Can we get a hallelujah
Quote johnnyboy700 18th April 2008, 19:24
Hallelujah!
Quote iggy2k 18th April 2008, 20:55
Quote:
Originally Posted by [USRF]Obiwan
I have a dream...

I have a dream that in the not so near future all the movie theaters are empty. Thats right. They all are empty. No living sole is sitting in the seat. I have a dream that all of the theaters are empty, not because there are no people, not because the prices are high tas the angels in the sky, not because there are no movies to be shown, not because there are no scripts anymore.

I need to tell you why the theaters are empty, I feel the urge to tell you why the theaters are empty, I feel the shiver in my bones why the theaters are going to be empty. You know why the theaters are empty, We all know why the theaters are empty. I had the bright lighted signal from above. You know what the signal said to me, how it whispered in my ear, how it feed my brain to let all of you people spread the word that no living sole should watch a movie from Uwe Boll anymore.

Amen....

what the hell?
Quote completemadness 19th April 2008, 01:52
last time i checked uwe boll isn't the only maker of films (not even the only maker of bad films) So even if he is gone, or no-one watches his films (and lets face it, i bet quite a few people do like them), the cinema's/theatres wont be empty

Ofc i doubt this was the point of your post

In regards to the petition, i think uwe may be getting the point (i stress maybe), this is a free world and he is welcome to make films, just don't watch them if hes rubbish, he will eventually be fired by his employers (or whatever happens in that industry)
Quote donnie 22nd April 2008, 11:56
Quote:
Originally Posted by KayinBlack
Or maybe you ****ing suck, you turn everything you touch into a ****-*****ing suckfest, and you're ****ing arrogant enough to tell us that we suck cause we won't capitulate to your massive suck. Go **** a ****ing light socket and remove yourself, cause you fail at life.

Yes, I ****ing hate ****ing Uwe ****ing Boll. *****-*** mother-****ing waste of a human-shaped **** sack.

Mods, if my self-censored rant offends, do remove. I hate him bunches, but not enough to take a vacation from Bit.

That post read like a good episode of jerry springer
Quote Nexxo 22nd April 2008, 12:30
Quote:
Originally Posted by [USRF]Obiwan
I have a dream...

I have a dream that in the not so near future all the movie theaters are empty. Thats right. They all are empty. No living sole is sitting in the seat. I have a dream that all of the theaters are empty, not because there are no people, not because the prices are high tas the angels in the sky, not because there are no movies to be shown, not because there are no scripts anymore.

I need to tell you why the theaters are empty, I feel the urge to tell you why the theaters are empty, I feel the shiver in my bones why the theaters are going to be empty. You know why the theaters are empty, We all know why the theaters are empty. I had the bright lighted signal from above. You know what the signal said to me, how it whispered in my ear, how it feed my brain to let all of you people spread the word that no living sole should watch a movie from Uwe Boll anymore.

Amen....
Quote:
Originally Posted by steveo_mcg
Amen, Can we get a hallelujah
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnnyboy700
Hallelujah!

Praise the Lord!
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