Wii Fit

Author: Joe Martin
Published: 24th April 2008
Comments (27) Stumble

Yogi Yoga Bear

I’m not an incredibly graceful person, which is what I suppose you’d expect from a 6ft 3” geek in glasses and a cardigan. I did however grow up reading a lot of superhero comics and thus, despite my clumsy inadequacies, have always wanted to have perfect agility like Spiderman.

It was only natural then that the first thing that caught my eye about Wii Fit was the yoga exercises – do enough yoga and you’ll be able to balance barefooted on the tip of a pin, right?

Well, yes, maybe, but I think the exercises would have to be a hell of a lot more strenuous and interesting than the first yoga exercises that consist of standing on the balance board and breathing in rhythm. No balancing, bending or web-flinging – just breathing and while it may be realistic and helpful, it sure isn’t very interesting. I skipped on to the next exercise in the yoga section.

And yet already I’ve got ahead of myself because getting started in Wii Fit isn’t as simple as just turning the game on and heading straight for the button labelled ‘Dull Breathing Game’. First, you have to create a profile.

Wii Fit The Balance Board
Click to enlarge

Setting up a profile is a fairly easy, if slightly longwinded process and once you’ve shoved four AA batteries in the balance board the next thing to do is import your Mii into Wii Fit and follow the instructions. Guidance is given to you by a slightly creepy representation of the balance board which has no eyes, nose or face, but wobbles about talking to you as if it were your best friend in the world.

“Hi, how are you <Mii name here>,” it says every time you long from that point on before giving out a generic statement about what time of day it is and how you should be having breakfast/tucked up in bed. At first it’s like a sincere glaDOS with an ironically unhealthy obsession with your fitness. Later it just becomes a squeaky annoyance like Navi or Tingle from the Zelda games.

The balance board serves a purpose though and is never that much of a hindrance and providing you answer his questions correctly you’ll not have to see him all that much. The questions are the general sort of thing – what is your name, how tall are you, how old are you etc. It’s the same sort of thing that many cutesy Wii games ask you, except Wii Fit is asking for a reason. It needs to know how healthy you are roughly.

While you’re asking these questions the balance board is doing a few things, like weighing you and giving you a few quick balance tests. From here the Wii then works out your BMI (Body Mass Index) and a more easily understood rating, your Wii Fit Age. Obviously the lower your age, the more healthy you are.

Wii Fit The Balance Board
Click to enlarge

So, I’m a 23 year old male, a few inches over six foot tall, weighing a little over twelve and a half stone and with an obstinate refusal to help any European readers by using only old-fashioned Imperial measurements. I do a few balance tests, which are never fair because you never really know what you’re doing the first few times, and the Wii gives me an age rating.

Thirty-Six. Ouch, I’m more than a decade older than I should be, though at least my BMI is still within the ideal range apparently. The Wii then tells me that although I stand still with near-perfect balance that I seem to have trouble shifting my balance properly – that must be why I failed the first balance tests.

The on-screen balance board persona asks me if I find myself regularly bumping in to things or falling over. My girlfriend looks up from her book and giggles.

The whole thing has taken about twenty minutes of measuring and gauging thus far but it seems to be coming to a conclusion. The balance board asks me to set a goal weight to achieve, suggesting that a loss of four pounds every two weeks is about healthy. Would I like to get further down in the ideal BMI range? Sure, why not. I’ll go with the suggested amount of four pounds in two weeks.

And then that’s it. I’m suddenly turned loose to the main menu proper where I can look at a calendar, select exercises, set new targets and take more body tests. I’m not really sure where to start, but the balance board is on hand to help and suggests some gentle yoga exercises. Why not, I say – if I get good at yoga then I’ll soon have perfect agility like Spiderman, right?

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