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Fat, Ugly or Slutty?

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Centy-face 20th June 2011, 09:22 Quote
After a few minutes browsing the FUoS site I am so happy I have never played a online game on Xbox at least on Steam games people have to add you to send you messages out side of the game.

It's all obviously ridiculous immature nonsense and having being around it for many years I can find it amusing but then as a hetro, white, adult male there's very little they can offer me other than noob or for some reason to call me a "Russian Hacker".

I know from experience if you ask a woman to "make me a sandwich" there's only one response to expect, a glare that somehow shouts "make it yourself you lazy.....".
spectre456 20th June 2011, 09:30 Quote
to be fair, people only act like assholes because of the anonymity factor.

If i was a female who played games i simply would not speak at all unless it was with a group of friends. At any rate, this nonsense mainly happens on consoles, especially on Xbox live.
CardJoe 20th June 2011, 09:32 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by spectre456
to be fair, people only act like assholes because of the anonymity factor.

If i was a female who played games i simply would not speak at all unless it was with a group of friends. At any rate, this nonsense mainly happens on consoles, especially on Xbox live.

How is that either fair or an acceptable response?
Centy-face 20th June 2011, 09:33 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by CardJoe
How is that either fair or an acceptable response?

It's not a justification but it's certainly part of the problem.
cjoyce1980 20th June 2011, 09:34 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by Centy-face
Quote:
Originally Posted by CardJoe
How is that either fair or an acceptable response?

It's not a justification but it's certainly part of the problem.

+1
CDomville 20th June 2011, 09:39 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by Centy-face
After a few minutes browsing the FUoS site I am so happy I have never played a online game on Xbox at least on Steam games people have to add you to send you messages out side of the game.

It's all obviously ridiculous immature nonsense and having being around it for many years I can find it ammusing but then as a hetro, white, adult male there's very little they can offer me other than noob or for some reason to call me a "Russian Hacker".

I know from experience if you ask a woman to "make me a sandwich" there's only one response to expect, a glare that somehow shouts "make it yourself you lazy.....".

I agree wholeheartedly about this statement. I used to play play online with a mic, but now my time online isn't much because even I'm getting annoyed with the abuse and random arguments based on gender, race, the way you speak, and I'm saying that as a guy, assuming that the online misogyny is the majority of the abuse out there.

It makes the MALE demographic look bad, and it seems to be a very vocal minority of gamers (13-15 year old US boys) just want to be immature, yet I've been to LAN parties where the MAJORITY of people are girl, who have been fairly pleasant to talk to. It's gotten to the point where I've just turned the mic off anyway unless I know people in the game.

And I thought online gaming was social. :|
spectre456 20th June 2011, 09:41 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by CardJoe
How is that either fair or an acceptable response?

I find it "fair" because it really isn't something new or worth being shocked about. It's actually quite common to hear these things.

When people have anonymity they will use what they know about the budding victim to the full extent of hurting the victims' feelings. This happens simply because it's easier to generalise the victim into a stereotype that plagues his or her sex, race, age etc.

For example:

Black person: fried chicken jokes
Women: kitchen jokes
Asian: small penis jokes

Get my drift? People say these things because it's easy to do.

FYI, i don't find it acceptable but you would do yourself a favour by hiding details about your gender/race in a screen name.
Centy-face 20th June 2011, 09:43 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDomville

And I thought online gaming was social. :|

"Social" is just corporate talk for DLC, Micropayments and points for cash.
azrael- 20th June 2011, 09:51 Quote
When I play on-line I never use a mic or have any voice communications enabled whatsoever. I just can't stand the chatter. Only exception is when I'm playing in a mix or CW with a known group of people, which really doesn't happen much these days.

Unsurprisingly because of my reluctance to use a mic I've been mistaken for a female on several occasions. Alas, I'm an older white bloke (i.e. male), albeit a fat and ugly one... ;)
stonedsurd 20th June 2011, 09:52 Quote
I'm so glad that none of the TF2 servers I frequent have any of these issues. We male players are usually a little surprised when a female player shows up, and a little more than just taken aback when they are actually good. IT's just a bit odd because there are so few women IRL who talk about gaming. I don't care what the stats say, I'm always (pleasantly, I must say) surprised when I meet a female who games or encounter one online. Just how it is.

I once traded dominations (sniper vs sniper) for a good 2 hours with a female sniper who turned out to be living a floor above me in my Uni res-hall! We're now really good friends and when my system isn't being a dick, we frag together in CS:S and TF2.

I love the idea of women gamers. Something about breaking stereotypes and mixing up the scene.
CardJoe 20th June 2011, 09:53 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by spectre456

Get my drift? People say these things because it's easy to do.

FYI, i don't find it acceptable but you would do yourself a favour by hiding details about your gender/race in a screen name.

And just because it's hard doesn't mean others shouldn't oppose behaviour which, by your argument, you find intolerable but seem content to shrug away.
antiHero 20th June 2011, 09:54 Quote
Its sad but true.

I stopped playing WoW because of all the sh*t talk all the time and the only game i play online now is L4D2 as the groups are smaller and its easier to sort out the trash.
Female gamer friend of mine has to life with it all the time and got used to it. She is neather fat, ugly or slutty and luckily has a thick skin so she can handle it, but some of the msg she got in game over the time where really hardcore.

As I sad its the sad reality
xxxsonic1971 20th June 2011, 10:01 Quote
bit-tech, why are you doing articles on this, and giving this content more veiws, instead of articles about hardware??? i am baffled.
spectre456 20th June 2011, 10:02 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by CardJoe
And just because it's hard doesn't mean others shouldn't oppose behaviour which, by your argument, you find intolerable but seem content to shrug away.

could you rephrase that? i'm having trouble understanding what you mean. Maybe it's me and i should sleep. will respond when i wake up.
Parge 20th June 2011, 10:11 Quote
Despite being a male gamer, I've still had my fair share of abuse. The truth is, you have to pick your games. Gears of War, Mech Warrior (on xbox) Halo and CoD have, in my experience by far the worst communities, full of idiots playing music through the mic, abusive brats and people that feel they can be ridiculously rude because of the anonymity of online gaming. In fact, I refuse to play GoW online because of how ridiculous the flaming is.

You have to pick your games. Ghost Recon, for example, has, by and large, a very friendly community, and I've had many many games with very friendly people, I find the PC gaming community in general to be a far friendlier place.

I suppose its like any form of socialising, there are places you just don't go because the crowd of people that go there are idiots, no matter how good the venue is.

I am fully behind naming and shaming and laughing at these idiots though!
RedFlames 20th June 2011, 10:12 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by spectre456
could you rephrase that? i'm having trouble understanding what you mean. Maybe it's me and i should sleep. will respond when i wake up.

'So we should just let that crap happen because it's 'easy to do', even though you think it's wrong.'

is that rephrased enough?
Spaceraver 20th June 2011, 10:13 Quote
I would love the game time with girls. Alas, my GF doesn't seem to be interested in gaming. Got her interested in Wii gaming tho. Casual gamer you might say. But haven't seen her frag anytime. Maybe I should get her a decent rig to game on?
Tulatin 20th June 2011, 10:17 Quote
This problem rings across the internet entirely, unfortunately. And it's not just related to misogyny. These days every Jebediah, Bubba, and Jason can pull up a chair, spit their vitriol from the comfort of their own home, and feel smug about it afterwords when their real life friends congratulate their ignorance.

Point in case.

It's through the billions of shining examples like these that we realize that anonymity is not the catalyst, and that breeding is not the cause. We've just given idiots a megaphone with which to shout at the world. Now what can we do about it?
Centy-face 20th June 2011, 10:22 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by CardJoe
And just because it's hard doesn't mean others shouldn't oppose behaviour which, by your argument, you find intolerable but seem content to shrug away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedFlames
'So we should just let that crap happen because it's 'easy to do', even though you think it's wrong.'

is that rephrased enough?

I think what he's getting at is we can find it to be as awful as we want and oppose it for all we are worth but we can't stop it. What can we really do about it? We could say to the guy doing it "Hey that's not cool, pack it in" but all that will do is encourage them.

I think spectre has done what a lot of us do, just admit defeat. We can't win with those kinds of people so unless you are a server admin (good luck xbox users) you can literally do nothing but mute them and ignore the chat window. You could report them to Steam or EA or whom ever it is that runs the games online system but no one will stop it because if they did then surely the worst culprits will have been banned by now.

The best solution is to play with people you know or on well moderated servers if possible and never engage them in exchanges 'let them tire themselves out' was the way my ex used to deal with them.
Boogle 20th June 2011, 10:28 Quote
I don't play video games with a headset because of this. I've never actually been victimized (I stay silent 99% of the time anyway), but just hearing all of the phlegm firing around is very tiring.

Stick with PC games and a keyboard and generally speaking it's civil or a laugh. L4D is particularly civil with people thanking you for saves, and vice versa.
XXAOSICXX 20th June 2011, 10:32 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by Centy-face
Quote:
Originally Posted by CardJoe
And just because it's hard doesn't mean others shouldn't oppose behaviour which, by your argument, you find intolerable but seem content to shrug away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedFlames
'So we should just let that crap happen because it's 'easy to do', even though you think it's wrong.'

is that rephrased enough?

I think what he's getting at is we can find it to be as awful as we want and oppose it for all we are worth but we can't stop it. What can we really do about it? We could say to the guy doing it "Hey that's not cool, pack it in" but all that will do is encourage them.

I think spectre has done what a lot of us do, just admit defeat. We can't win with those kinds of people so unless you are a server admin (good luck xbox users) you can literally do nothing but mute them and ignore the chat window. You could report them to Steam or EA or whom ever it is that runs the games online system but no one will stop it because if they did then surely the worst culprits will have been banned by now.

The best solution is to play with people you know or on well moderated servers if possible and never engage them in exchanges 'let them tire themselves out' was the way my ex used to deal with them.

Joe is right on the money here. Just because you can't stop it doesn't mean you shouldn't strive for better. It's easy to write off the position of "victim" when you aren't one. Like saying the girl deserved to get raped because her skirt was short....it's nonsense. People shouldn't have to hide themselves because that's the way the system "just is".

I applaud BT for raising these issues - it's more than the rest of the tech/gaming press do - and frankly, with enough exposure, companies like M$ or Sony might one day put in measures to ensure this doesn't happen. If nobody raises the issue you can pretty much guarantee nothing with happen.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." [Edmund Burke]
spiderm0nkey 20th June 2011, 10:32 Quote
I've taken a significant amount of abuse over the years for being a female gamer, but these days I either ignore them or feed their pathetic abuse straight back to them. I've been gaming for about 4yrs now and have made many good friends in a lot of servers. When the young kids trying to be cool come in and abuse me, the older members tend to back me up and the abuse usually stops pretty quick.

Makes me sad that some girls would give up gaming because of the jerks though. :(
XXAOSICXX 20th June 2011, 10:33 Quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by Centy-face
Quote:
Originally Posted by CardJoe
And just because it's hard doesn't mean others shouldn't oppose behaviour which, by your argument, you find intolerable but seem content to shrug away.


I think what he's getting at is we can find it to be as awful as we want and oppose it for all we are worth but we can't stop it. What can we really do about it? We could say to the guy doing it "Hey that's not cool, pack it in" but all that will do is encourage them.

No. That's pretty much the complete opposite of what Joe meant.
madmike32 20th June 2011, 10:34 Quote
It saddens me to see such poor behaviour from men and well most of them boys.I run a games server which we have played bf2 and now on bfbc2,yes we have seen and heard all sorts of comments on type talk and voice chat but we strive to remove such idiots from our servers as we do not tollerate any sort of bullying or abusive behaviour one bit and think that all clans that run games servers should strive to be like ours and stop such behaviour from happening as we think it is great to have women gamers and have had a couple of female members and still have and also if we see female gamers then we make sure that they are happy and try to keep our code of conduct as we expect it,that is no insults at all.I have had all sorts of insults thrown at me by stupid gamers intent of trying to be rude when confronted with being banned,I was called a 200lb brainless retard by a group of players.. I stood to correct them that I most likely had more IQ than all of them put together and then promptly banned them all from our server.I don't understand why people will resort to any such behaviour and I will not tollerate any kind of insults on our servers and neither will our other mature admins..and one of them is a woman too ;-).It is about time that clans and people who run game servers remove such insulting people from servers..and I do beleive it is good to see women playing games and would like to see even more playing games and to keep our servers running in such a manner that anyone playing on our severs can play safely and feel at home playing on our servers and free from idiots with no manners are kept off our severs and that all servers should be run like ours,then anyone can play as insult free as possible and that should be on type talk or voice chat.Online gaming is meant to be fun and should be kept so.
Kingsley813 20th June 2011, 10:36 Quote
The only game I play online is FIFA, nothing else, really. But even there, it's more than a joke when you're playing football and the Russians on there (and believe me, there are a LOT of them on there) start spewing out adoration for Hitler, Stalin and begging for the return of Communism. Really, WTF?
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