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XUntitled 28th November 2005, 10:01

Rules to live by :p

Quote:

If you have a 15" CRT then still run it in 1280x, but use 60Hz and a magnifying glass.

I used to do that...

But I do play Minesweeper from time to time :)

Wolfe 28th November 2005, 10:15

I can honestly say i do every one of the list except for #4.

Blogging (or equivalent)? Pfaugh!

Spaced_invader 28th November 2005, 10:31

well i haven't broken any of those rules wooohoooo
my current mouse mat is the reverse side of a WHsmith Wide ruled A4 refill pad, the half price marked one.

felix the cat 28th November 2005, 10:44

very good read for this not-so-lovely monday morninG back at work... :(

...must admit i am guilty of sometimes using holiday photos as a background...

...well, imo photos = teh win!!111 ;)

valium 28th November 2005, 10:47

What does this have to do with anything remotely pwn?

Meanmotion 28th November 2005, 10:51

Quote:

this also helps with keeping your working area sticky and full of crumbs, which is also important

Oh so very true!

What's the general rule on novelty figurines and other detritus stuck to your monitor, yay or nay?

:: kna :: 28th November 2005, 11:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by valium
What does this have to do with anything remotely pwn?

Pwning n00bs, like j00.

Gunsmith 28th November 2005, 11:02

nearly spat my damn coffee over my screen, most of those i conform to :P

:: kna :: 28th November 2005, 11:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meanmotion
Oh so very true!

What's the general rule on novelty figurines and other detritus stuck to your monitor, yay or nay?

Nay, unless they are considered 'cult' items.

Stars, Post-It's with people's Email addresses on and those fluffy bugs you get from insurance company promotions are right out.

Meanmotion 28th November 2005, 11:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by :: kna ::
Nay, unless they are considered 'cult' items.

Stars, Post-It's with people's Email addresses on and those fluffy bugs you get from insurance company promotions are right out.

Not that I've got any, of course.

No, they are all simpsons/wallace and gromit/etc figures though, oh and novelty plectrums . That cult enough?

Oh dear, i'm defending my own plastic figurine collection, I've reached a new low.

Fly 28th November 2005, 11:35

:cries in laughter:

oasked 28th November 2005, 11:45

lol, so many of those are true..... :p

Nature 28th November 2005, 12:10

Funny stuff. I kan think of some more noobie trademarks though..... Can you???

1. Nornton Anti-virus

2. 56k internet

3. (mine) Running your computer on a version of XP Pro, that costed 36 cents at a beijing market!

Agamer 28th November 2005, 13:10

How about my computers better than yours because I bought it at tell and it cost more:P

tylerpestell 28th November 2005, 13:20

"In the same vein, if you have the Google Toolbar installed, remove it and use the MSN equivalent. Never, EVER have two toolbars going."

In the same vein ... any toolbar is novice ... everyone who is anyone has Firefox.

:: kna :: 28th November 2005, 13:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by tylerpestell
"In the same vein, if you have the Google Toolbar installed, remove it and use the MSN equivalent. Never, EVER have two toolbars going."

In the same vein ... any toolbar is novice ... everyone who is anyone has Firefox.

http://toolbar.google.com/firefox/index.html

Not that I use it, but it's there.

ralph.pickering 28th November 2005, 13:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by :: kna ::
http://toolbar.google.com/firefox/index.html

Not that I use it, but it's there.

I think that comes under the 'not using what it comes with' rule.

Additionally, if you use firefox, I think it's obligatory to add at least another 5 or 6 search engines to the search box; particularly IMDB, Wikipedia, Dictionary.com (for spelling noobs like me) and eBay...

Fly 28th November 2005, 13:42

Never ask the PC World guy: "Can I buy an Internet?"

Wolfman_UK 28th November 2005, 14:13

Whats wrong with Teal?

:'(

-wolfman

FIBRE+ 28th November 2005, 14:20

lol

Nice lunchtime read, the way it's written sounds like all the don'ts have been collected from personal experience

Quote:

1. Deride everyone you just sucked up to in the local electronics store

I hope no-one goes to PCW to buy components

Quote:

if you have the Google Toolbar installed, remove it and use the MSN equivalent. Never, EVER have two toolbars going.

Google and Ebay toolbar for me

Quote:

Never browse in a game shop, pick up the game you want, take it to the till and when you're asked if you know it will work with your PC, say "Yep" absent-mindedly, like he's asking you if you know how to breathe in and out.

Last time I bought a game from a shop I did that in a rather harsh tone, then promtly appologised to the girl.

TBH you should be buying everything on the net or ebay local shop! *pffft*

I buy almost everything off the net or ebay, even bought my socks off ebay...

cpemma 28th November 2005, 14:22

Other n00b things:

A screen full of program shortcuts;
A Start Menu with all self-installed programs in the first box;
Favorites as above;
Using XP's drag & drop burner;
Sending original-size holiday snaps by email;
Forwarding every office joke email to all his address book;
Always asking for an email receipt;
Having the ISP's portal or MSN as Home Page;
Not knowing about alt.binaries

All examples demonstrated by the son-in-law (on his Dell). :(

Tim S 28th November 2005, 14:27

what's wrong with the drag and drop burner if you just want a couple of files burnt quickly when the USB memory key isn't 'to hand' ?

cpemma 28th November 2005, 14:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigz
what's wrong with the drag and drop burner if you just want a couple of files burnt quickly when the USB memory key isn't 'to hand' ?

^^^n00b :p

Geeks have it turned off.

Firehed 28th November 2005, 14:38

Hmm... this article was in voliation of the FT\/\/ censor!

Great stuff. That plus a cancelled first block class makes my monday a bit better. I mean... still monday, but

My family violates... all of these. And I pwn them ;)

Methinks I'll have to come up with a few more things to add to the noob list. Good use of second block class I'd say.

Godboy_g 28th November 2005, 14:40

Great article. ;)

I'd have to say that the funniest noob thing someone said to me was when a friend was describing his new PC. He said that it had a 1 Jigahertz processor, and 120 Jigabytes of memory, and 512 Megs of RAM!!!

I had to hold myself back from smacking some sense into him....

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